Lost Love, A Letter

My Love,
    It has been five years since I have seen your face or kissed your lips, since we laughed together or walked hand-in-hand down the street. I don't spend every day thinking about you anymore but once in awhile when I am feeling lonely I think about how wonderful it was to be with you and how lucky we were to share that kind of connection, compatibility and love.  You were my best match and I am not very confident that there will be another that can come close. After all, other than a few dalliances, there has been no one since you. 
    Are you happy?  Did you make the right decision?  Did getting caught with me cause you and your wife to fix your broken relationship or did you put a band-aid on it so that you could continue to coexist while protecting your grown children from the truth about their parents' relationship?  I wonder these things when you come to mind.  It's that first question that is most important to me.  Are you happy?  Are you?  
    I found the video of you walking your daughter down the aisle. You looked so proud to be her dad. The goatee surprised me.  I find it interesting that you kept it.  Is that the mask you wear? Is it something you hide behind metaphorically?  Is your daughter happy in her marriage?  Is it the kind of marriage that you hoped for her? Has she made you a grandfather yet?  You will make a wonderful grandfather. You heart would melt and you would do anything to make the little one happy  and want for nothing. Of that I am certain. 
    I wonder too if you ever think of me. Do you?  If so, what do you think of most?  Do you remember the way we fell in love?  Do you remember spending all those nights together?  One of my favorite things is to think of you coming over after you were done with work for the day and we would have a drink, sit on the couch and talk about our day while sitting as close as we could, holding hands kissing, getting all excited and then forcing ourselves to stop and go have dinner.  I remember the way we made love every night, how we fell asleep with our bodies intertwined. My favorite memory is the way you would get up extra early and crawl back into bed after your shower each morning so that we could make love again before we went to work. I had never experienced anything like it before or since. I felt loved by you. I felt cherished and special.  I am grateful for that because many people never find what we had even if it was only for 14 months. The most amazing 14 months of my life.
   There is nothing I want more in my life than to feel that way again, or to even get close to that kind of a feeling.  It just seems it's not in the cards for me, and I will remain alone.  I hope I'm wrong, but the trend is pretty clear. I've filled my life up with wonderful friends and keeping myself busy as much as possible. I'm taking classes and learning so much. 
     I wish you all the best:happiness, fulfillment and most of all, I wish you the kind of love you deserve.  Take care.  OK?